My Inner Celebrity

Bring on the peroxide, the baby oil,
and the sexualized caricature of
Southern Women.

One of the reasons I haven't ever put a lot of effort into being fancy can be summed up in two words:
Jessica Simpson.
Jessica Simpson is what I always imagine I would be if I just threw caution to the wind and decided "I'm going to be FANCY!"
It seems totally realistic that at my absolute fanciest and most talented, my highest rated movie would be some kind of remake of a show like Dukes of Hazzard.
It just feels true.

*I added a snarky caption to the picture, but before publishing it, I had to add an additional rant. Southern women don't wear hair extensions, fake leather or foreign denim. Tsk Tsk Jessica. You so NOT fancy. *

So imagine my surprise when I got lost in the Walmart the other day....
They move Walmart around so often, you'd think some of the items they stock were in the witness protection program.
Anywho, I got lost and - as I was trying to find my way across department borders - I smelled a wonderful smell of perfume.

Now ya know I'm not that big into perfume.
But this stuff was captivating.
I'm also not big into asking other girls what kind of perfume they are wearing.
Seems too much like a pick up line in this day & age
(especially considering I pretty much live in a men's Carhartt jacket)
But I bit the bullet and asked this woman what kind of perfume she was wearing.
She stammered a little and then admitted it was kind of embarrassing to say but that it was.....

Wait for it....

Fancy, by Jessica Simpson.

What are the damn chances?

Here it is for you gals who also have no shame...

I have to say, it really does smell fancy.

Lamp Scarf Pirate

This is one of my fancier looks.
The irony of this look is that it comes off glamorous but it's really just laziness.
I woke up this morning feeling very un-fancy with my hair sticking up every which way.
Instead of doing what normal people do - wash it, blow it, style it - I just covered it.

I have no idea where I got this scarf from
I only know it was tied around a lamp for about 10 years.
It was a lamp scarf.
But my head had to be covered,
so now it is a head wrap.

Another thing that is funny is everyone says I look like a gypsy
I think gypsies are much fancier than I am with their flowy dresses and whatnot
In my head I look like a pirate.
But in my head I'm also wearing a lamp scarf on my head.....

I can't find you a 10+ year old lamp with a scarf tied around it.

The closest I can find is this:

Of course, I'd go with the Mocha Brown (pictured) 

but there are lots of other fancy colors to choose from! 

Being Fancy

So this is my first post. I can't remember the last time I blogged...
What to say?
Fancy, So Fancy.
Fancy is what my friends call me.
It's an ironic nickname for sure, the way the big guy in the group gets the name "Tiny."
I wear the same jacket every day.
I have a backup jacket for days when I have to wash my jacket.
It is the same jacket.
Here is me in my jacket.

Click to buy my super warm Carhartt Sherpa-Lined Jacket

My jacket is not fancy.

The sleeve covered up my fake gang sign which is an "F" for Fancy. :)
I can afford a different jacket, but why would I need one?
I'm not fancy, and that's just ok.